Over the past seven years I have had the pleasure of sharing my organizing expertise with many people from retired veterans to corporate executives. I am amazed that the same question pops up at each session regardless of the audience. It is something that you probably have on your mind as well. Are you ready for this million dollar question?

How do I let go of my stuff, stuff that has history attached to it?

The stuff  that was received as a gift, perhaps passed down by a family member or stuff that is being kept because it was expensive ?

During the excess of the nineties people bought and bought…because it was all about having stuff. Some how we began to associate our stuff with our self worth…the stuff that fills our home, office and our time.

Here we are in the 21^st century and we want to move forward in our life. We know that the things that we had in the past worked then, but they really don’t fit who we are today.

Intellectually we know that we need to cut the clutter but in our hearts we can’t let go.

Here is a new way to think about the things that you are holding on to for sentimental reasons. For you it is sentimentality…for someone else it may be about survival.

For as long as I have been sharing my expertise I have also been sharing information on where to donate our gently used things. Places like homeless shelters, food banks, churches and service associations have been receiving the generous donations that I make on behalf of my clients. I am still touched by the gratefulness of the receivers of your generosity. Your beloved items that you are keeping for sentimental reasons that are stored in boxes in the basement of your comfortable home suddenly become the house wares that a homeless family uses to start over again.

It was clutter to you.…. It is survival for them.

If you are ready and willing to move on and let go, here are some places where you can donate your stuff and help others at the same time:

• Books can be donated to the 5^th Annual Big Brothers Big Sisters Book sale up until August 21^st.  Drop off your books at any Saint John Sobeys location. (all book types except encyclopedias, textbooks and magazines
• Towels and blankets can be donated to the local animal shelter as well as food, toys, brooms and laundry soap. Contact them for further information 642-0920.
• Clothing and Household items can be picked up by community living, making it very convenient. Call them at 642-5511.
• The Saint John Boys and Girls Club are always looking for socks, shoes and various items for the preschool daycare. As well as beds and furniture.
• Women’s and children’s clothing as well as hotel toiletries can be taken to the local women’s shelter.
• Cellular phones can be donated to The Charitable Recycling Program of Canada with drop off locations at Value Village in Saint John.  http://www.charitablerecycling.ca/CA/newbrunswick.asp
• If you have any antiquities contact your local museum to see if they want to add it to their collection.
• Your great-grandmothers period clothing may be just what your local theatre company is searching for.

Be sure to ask for a donation receipt when you are dropping off.

I would like to leave you this week with a very thought provoking video that was produced several years ago and has reached over 10 million viewers. It is The Story of Stuff. Watch it now…

When you run your errands, you should leave home and do things in a circular manner. Meaning make as many right turns as you can, its a time saver opposed to standing in line making a left hand turn, and doing a complete circle.

Are you reaching a stage in life where you forget things too often? It could be the birth of a new baby or age that is causing that brain fog…if you are one of the afflicted you will love these APPS, they can help you to Organize your family, thoughts or time. I would consider this a winner in my books….head over and meet our friends at Men with Pens and check out their post on “20 Powerful Apps to Organize your Thoughts.”

Looking for a new strategy to help you really dig in…let go and get your closet organized finally. How about the  Goddess or Not method…check out this awesome closet organizing strategy in Elaine’s latest KV Style Article…check it out now!

I just finished watching Oprah and the topic of the day was hoarding, in all its retched glory. I found myself fascinated by this show and my heart breaking for those living in this condition. As a Professional Organizer I have seen this stuff in real life, and let me tell you it is REAL, I don’t know how many people live like this, but there are more than you can imagine living in various degrees of this cluttered existence. In my small city of Moncton I have seen my fair share. You may even be one yourself, if so, you are NOT alone!

Why would someone live like this?

How did they let it get so bad?

Can’t they see how disgusting it is?

Why don’t they just clean it up for Pete’s sake?

These may be thoughts that go through your mind if you are on the outside looking in. We are quick to judge things that we cannot relate to or ever imagine living in, but can you for just a little bit try to empathize with those families that are dealing with this, instead of judging.

Most who are living this life already know- as Linda states in the Oprah show how Ugly and Horrid it is. They live daily with the embarrassment and humiliation of not being able to function in their own homes, not being able to ever have anyone over and having NO idea how to stop it.

What is the cause of Hoarding, how do you get to the point where your stuff has taken over you space? Well on the show, Dr. David Tolin gave a few hints to the answer to this. It is a mental illness, an Obsessive Compulsive disorder, an addiction. But whatever the technical terms you want to use it boils down to this- it’s REAL, it’s not about being messy(that is just a symptom) and It’s Affecting a lot of lives. Several of the women on the show state that a major ‘trigger’ for them was the loss of their father, the loss of a ground force in their life.

What can you do, if you think you are a hoarder, is it just about cleaning up you home?

Peter Walsh gave the best insight into this on the show, that there is an underlying cause of the hoarding, just like an addiction, you have to get to the root cause of the hoarding before there can be change and until you start talking about these root causes like loneliness, boredom, and whatever else is a trigger then you will never make the change needed.

In my opinion, he is so correct, when Oprah’s crew was visiting Linda a year and a half After The A & E Hoarders show she was featured on, we could all see the signs of backsliding. She can be defensive and come up with reasons and excuses all she wants but from the outside looking in, she was on her way back to where she started. As Peter said, until she replaces that boredom and loneliness with something else that gives her what she needs in life, then she will continue to slowly move backwards. I was so inspired by her stating she was heading back to school- what courage she has to move forward and to fill the void by doing something instead of buying something. Bravo to her!

My heart goes out to the children living in this situation, we all know from lots of studies that children learn what they live. Dr. David Tolin summed it up by stating that children ‘growing up in this environment leaves a scar, Children of hoarders are PROFOUNDLY affected by their environment’. Is it any different than living in an abusive environment?

On the show Jennifer and Ron took action when they were at risk of losing their kids; that says to me that even he authorities view it as a threat to kids lives. What is in store for these kids as they grow up, my tears started early on in the show when a young boy was running down the driveway upset that they were throwing away his old dirty play house, it is understandable that kids would be upset to see their stuff go away, I know that from my own personal experience with my kids, when they see things, they want to keep them, even if they no longer play with them. The problem with this scene is not that the boy was upset, it was his explanation of why, he stated he was keeping this playhouse for his kids to play in when he grows up, where did that come from: the obvious answer would be- his parents. He is learning what he is living and if things don’t change he could be on the same path.

His parents Ron and Jennifer, can be proud of the steps they have taken to change the way they were living, teaching by example that change is good and working with a Professional like CPO Geralin Thomas is okay. Bravo to them for their courage to act and to ask for the help they needed!

Bravo to all those who have taken steps to regain control of their life and their space.

Here are some take aways:

• Everyone has ‘STUFF’ in their life and for Hoarders, Stuff is representing the other ‘Stuff’. This is how their ‘Stuff’ showed up.
• Find Your ‘Triggers’ and avoid them when possible.
• Find something to fill the void, the loneliness or the ‘buzz’ you may get from shopping. Take a class, take up a hobby, Volunteer, Whatever will make you feel more fulfilled but not make your house more Full and Filled.
• Have a place for things BEFORE you bring them into your home
  Create Posters and place them around your space to remind you: My Family is More Important Than my Stuff!
• YOU CANNOT HELP SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT WANT HELP! You cannot go in and throw everything away and expect something to change. It is not about cleaning up a mess, it is about dealing with the underlying issues. And if someone does not want help, refuses to see they have a problem then you cannot really help them.

Tony Robbins would say- You have to get Disturbed, before major change can happens. In this show Ron and Jennifer got ‘disturbed’ when authorities threatened to take their kids away and they finally got the help they needed in order to save their children.

Let’s keep the conversation going..

If you are in a similar situation and are finally ready to get Disturbed there are resources out there to help you.

Here are just a few places to start- and really just taking the steps to start is a huge leap in the journey to Regain control:

National Study Group on Chronic Disorganization
www.CompulsiveHoaring.org

If you have a story you want to share with us about your clutter please feel free to leave a comment or email us at info@organizingconnection.com

Here’s to a Fullfilled Life, Not a full and filled Home!

Kim

What is holding you back from taking charge of your life and getting rid of the clutter that surrounds you? Now, during these days of uncertainty and chaos in the world, is the time to take back your life and your space. If your home is not your haven from the rest of the world….then what it is?